Walker Art Center


February 03, 2003

Me & My Demons

I don't write everyday. Writers who say they write everyday amaze me. Some even have a set schedule. I don't have a set schedule, but I do have somewhat of a routine. If I need to write for an assignment or fiction that I'm continually working on, I take a walk to a café and write the first draft at the café. Oh yeah, I'm not one of those laptop toting café frequenters, I always hand write my stories, then transcribe them into my computer.

Some days I don't write at all. Today is one of them. Yesterday also. (Yes, I wrote this entry, but I don't consider correspondence as writing….I probably should in the hopes of becoming such a hugely successful writer that publishers will be scrambling for every piece of correspondence I ever penned……but my goals are more on the level of my writing supporting my eating and drinking, anything above that will be brilliance.)

Usually after a few days of not writing fiction I get cranky, like a junkie who needs a fix. I exorcise my demons when I write. And my demons pile up on each other after too much time away from the pen.

I brought my notebook and pen to Progressive Grounds Coffeehouse on Cortland today. I only read a book. My demons are piling up. Having too many demons in me usually makes for a great creative burst. Sometimes it means I need to drink myself to sleep as me and my demons stare at the ceiling until the wee hours of the morning contemplating self-destruction and other morbid thoughts.

I need something toxic.
I feel disconnected.

Necesito algo tóxico.
Me siento desconectado.

That was my original entry for today. After reading it I was like, 'fuck this', so I hiked up Bernal Hill. It helped me get out of my funk. I feel like I've drunken a gallon of Tony Robbins or something. Nothing like a good hike and a beautiful view of San Francisco to get un-disconnected.

I still got to get that pen movin' on the paper, though.

I need a foot massage.
I feel invigorated.

Necesito un masaje del pie.
Me siento vigorizado.

Posted by Tony DuShane at February 3, 2003 10:22 PM
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